An All My Children Evaluation

Let’s play report card right now for All My Children. It’s time to evaluate the current storylines and/or characters on screen. But first, the Head Writer, Charles Pratt Jr. deserves an evaluation.

Apprehension is the first word that came to mind when news broke that Charles Pratt Jr. would be taking the helm as Head Writer for All My Children. It’s no secret that the show has been in a writing turmoil since the the babyswitch storyline reached its climax and wrapped up. Ever since then viewers of AMC have been subjected to one outlandish story after another (hello, Josh the unabortion…) and in turn one new head writer after another. Last year, it was reported that Charles Pratt Jr, would be taking his pen to AMC. Again, it’s no secret that apprehension broke out among the faithful viewers, leaving many to wonder if AMC would turn into some hybrid form of the shows he’d already written for. Shows such as Melrose Place, Desperate Housewives and General Hospital, whom he co-wrote with Robert Guza Jr. Some chose to give him a chance and see what he could do, while others chose to tread carefully, not wanting to put all their faith in him.

At first, his writing showed promise, given the tornado that hit Pine Valley in October, but it seems as though everything else slowly whirlpooled down the drain as the months progressed. One of the most glaring miscues, aside from the hyped-up first lesbian wedding on daytime (which only lasted a day, barely…) was the dismantling of Aidan and Greenlee in order to make way for the second-time around pairing of Ryan and Greenlee (Rylee). Apparently, Mr. Pratt did not get the memo that Rylee was not a huge hit the first time around, because this second go-round didn’t work and ultimately had Rebecca Budig opting out of the contract and leaving the show after just a one year return.

Currently, the storylines playing out on AMC have this tendency of good days and bad days, but there hasn’t been a steady progression in story itself. It has been said Mr. Pratt likes to leave the audience guessing or the characters guessing what they’ll be doing next, but that method doesn’t seem to work. These characters are meant to be predictable in a way and not give the viewers whiplash with their actions. For example, on General Hospital, when Carly gets upset about something, viewers will almost assume she will run to Jason for consoling, because that is what her character does. It’s predictable. On AMC lately, it’s as though some characters’ actions leave the viewers going “Huh?”. One character whose actions have left viewers doing that is Kendall Hart-Slater.

Lately, it seems as though Kendall cannot make up her mind on what she wants. One day she wants to work things out with Zach, but the next day or within the same episode, she’s with Ryan. It’s confusing trying to figure out who she wants to be with. And if that wasn’t bad, her sleeping with Ryan and saying that it’s because they’re mourning the loss of dear friend, Greenlee really takes the cake. Kendall would never do that, regardless of how hurt she was at the time over Zach’s actions. A month hadn’t passed and those two were already bedding each other, out of anger towards others. Spoilers for the next two weeks report that Zach and Kendall will finally separate, but the actions after the fact don’t make for good story down the road. One can only wonder what Alicia Minshew, Thorsten Kaye and Cameron Mathison are thinking as they receive their scripts.

Taylor and Brot, although may have seemed like a good idea on paper, isn’t all that tantilizing on screen. Taylor (and Beth Ehlers) seems to have more chemistry with Tad (and Michael E. Knight). It’s understandable in a way that the writers were trying to show some sort of love story/coming back together between Taylor and Brot, but these days, there’s no sizzle, nothing to draw in viewers. Perhaps these two are better as friends. Also, Brot (and JR Martinez) had better screen presence with Colby (and Brianne Moncrief). It could be the fact that the two actors are closer to age in real life, as opposed to the age difference between Ehlers and Martinez.

Frankie and Randi — snooze…

Adam and Erica — intriguing. It’s good to see Erica having her hands in two stories right now. She has been consistent in her involvement regarding Kendall and Zach. But it’s also interesting seeing her in cahoots with Adam Chandler.

Jake and Amanda — Disliked it at first, but surprisingly have grown to like at the present moment. It is unsure where or when it happened or even how, but these two work right now and it’s better than seeing Jake Martin troll around town and having a casual drink every where he goes.

Pete and Colby — still a work in progress and there isn’t any clear direction on these two. It’s clear Pete will not give up on Colby, but will Colby ever give in to Pete?

David and Krystal — Can we end the Babe mentions now? No one cares about Babe, no one care when she died and no one will ever care. There is no need to invoke her name everyday. She wasn’t a saint and never brought anything good to Pine Valley. David, when acting human like last week before operating on Ian is good. But when he reverts back to his “twisting the imaginary moustache” and constantly proclaiming revenge on the Chandlers, it gets really old, fast. Krystal… well, at least she isn’t crying 24/7, but her blind love for David isn’t very enthralling to watch. And that is all that can be said on that for now.

Much credit goes to the actors who day in and day out put their efforts into acting out the writing that is handed to them.

Now, this isn’t to say everyday feels like a whirlpool where everything is simply spinning around and there isn’t much improvement.. but these days, AMC seems to be on a step forward, step back pattern. Good day with writing, giving viewers an entertaining episode, only for the next day to have subpar writing and leaving viewers wondering what happened and where the continuity went.

Overall grade for AMC as of today — C+/B- (yes, that’s being generous.)

This is just an evaluation of the show for now… Check back for another report card in the coming months, where hopefully there has been some progression and less whiplash.

Yet Another WTF? Moment on All My Children, 6/18/08

On today’s episode of AMC, Tad took Kathy home to live with him and his dysfunctionally fun family (Krystal, newly-minted Gen-X’er Colby and baby Jenny) after he was finally released from the hospital with a really bad case of lead poisoning. At the Martin homestead, he set the little girl up in her own room, with her toys and a stuffed animal given to her by her “Mother” (and she wasn’t talking about Julia), even letting her pick out the color they would paint this little girl haven.

So… Tad just swooped in and took Kathy home after telling her he was her daddy and she just accepted it? And, better yet, everyone in town just accepted it?!?! No court filings claiming parental rights? No DNA tests proving Tad and Kathy share the same double helix? He didn’t have to go before a judge, file papers with the court, make a statement under oath, that Kathy was actually Kate?

And Maria Santos, legal guardian to Kathy Mershon, just let him?

Um… WTF?

Are you kidding me? It’s that easy for Tad to take his and Dixie’s child home? Despite the legal guardianship of little Kathy by Maria? Bestowed on her, again legally, by Julia Santos? Who was also the legal guardian of Kathy? In the eyes of the law?!?!

Haven’t we seen real life situations such as this? People have to hire $500 an hour lawyers, who are trained in family law so I’m guessing former DA and current criminal defense attorney Jackson Montgomery might be out of his element here, to file a claim of parental rights with the court. Then they must appear in court and plead their case. Then the judge will render a decision. And if that decision is favorable to the “Petitioner”, the judge decides how to proceed, generally by ordering medical tests done on the “Petitioner” and the minor child in order to prove the “Petitioner’s” claims. Then… well, despite what All My Children, the CSI franchise and the Law & Order shows would have you believe, DNA results don’t come back mere seconds after they’ve been input into the fancy-shmancy DNA printer thingy…

This would require months of legal filings, motions and counter-motions (if Maria wished to keep custody of Kathy), then several weeks of just sitting around waiting until the results of the DNA tests came back, while Kathy could be in California with her legal guardian, or as a ward of the state.

And even then, if the judge so deemed it, since it was in writing that Julia was Kathy’s legal guardian, as evidenced by the LEGALLY BINDING WILL of Kathy’s adoptive mother, and Julia indicated that she made Maria the legal guardian of Kathy, should anything happen to her (like the writer’s killing her off) custody of the minor child could have stayed with Maria Santos-Grey! (of course, as Kathy would have been biologically proven to be Tad’s daughter, I would imagine Tad would have filed for custody, which could have resulted in more legal maneuvering for everyone involved)

But, apparently, Pine Valley does not adhere to the laws of the rest of the county. You say that kid is yours? Hey, no sweat, take her home! No pesky legal fees, filings or decisions for you to worry about here!

The scenes between Michael E. Knight and Alexa Garasimovich have been wonderful, there is no doubting that. And who doesn’t love that Tad found his and Dixie’s lost child? (too bad Dixie can’t be awakened from a coma with the news that “Kathy is your Kate”, though) But, come on… is it so hard to do even a little research?

Really… WTF?*

*thanks to Tracy for initially bringing this WTF? moment to my attention.

WTF? Moments on AMC for the Week Beginning 6/9/08

Recently on All My Children, the writers have been featuring the older, established characters. The venerable veterans who made the show so incredibly popular back in the 90’s, and even waaaay back into the 80’s. Adam, Erica, Jack, Tad, Dixie (albeit dead), Angie, Jesse, Opal, Julia (albeit killed)…

These are the characters we have a bond with, a connection. Long-time viewers grew up with Tad, Dixie, Angie and Jesse. We watched Palmer and Opal fall in love, Adam steamroll his way through the business world, Erica and Jack spend 17 years in an on-again, off-again relationship (mostly off, but when it was on… it was ON).

So, um… WTF?

Why are you teasing us like this?

Don’t you know there are young, nubile characters going to waste on AMC? Didn’t you SORAS Colby (from 5 to early 20’s) just so you could give us more youth angst? (and dumped an ever-evolving Ambyr Childers in order to cast a poor man’s Ambyr Childers lookalike in the role) You’ve brought back Frankie Hubbard (twice now in recent years), cast a young woman to play a street-smart hooker to get involved with the military vet to mine some angst out of that pairing. There’s the Ryan/Annie debacle that’s looming on the horizon, Kenlee/Zachlee/Aidlee/Zendall drama to explore…

So WTF are you doing? Why are you giving us these wonderful stories with veteran stars, all of whom are doing spectacular work? David Canary and Cady McClain during Adam’s haunting… Susan Lucci playing Erica in the Big House (which has been a ton of fun when you let Erica and her fellow inmates interact)… Michael Knight and Cady McClain, living out the life every Tad and Dixie fan wanted to witness (albeit over years, not a single episode), Darnell Williams and Debbie Morgan bringing Jesse and Angie back to Pine Valley after way too long away. Ray McDonnell as Dr. Joe Martin, the Chief of Staff at Pine Valley Hospital as son Tad fights for his life in one room while Joe must deliver devastating news to a friend in another. And Sydney Penny as a dying Julia Santos, knowing there was no way she would survive, wanting to make sure Kathy was taken care of, giving Krystal instructions on what to do, even as her very life slipped away.

That was All My Children as I remember it from my youth and over the decades. Intriguing, emotional, well-script, brilliantly acted… We cared about these characters. We anxiously awaited each new episode to see how they would react, how they would cope, what they would say…

What are you doing getting my hopes up again? That I might think this could become a daily experience once more? That you’d have us believing it will always be this way and we’ll never get mired back in the same old tired storylines that have been hashed and re-hashed over the last year or so…

Seriously… WTF?

Dixie, you forgot something

Yes, Tad and Dixie’s final goodbye was sweet yesterday. Bittersweet actually, since Dixie should have never been subjected to death by pancake.

Anyhow… as Dixie and Tad parted ways, there was just one mishap with the ending.

Tad didn’t get a ride back to the hospital chapel! Dixie beamed them out, but she forgot to beam him back to the hospital chapel.

One can only hope he still isn’t stranded today.

Tad to Kathy – “I’m your daddy.”

While it may seem like almost everything on All My Children has gone to the crapper, there is a sliver of hope, giving viewers a moment to smile. Yesterday, Tad told Kathy that he’s her daddy. From the look on the little girl’s face, she’s quite happy that he is her daddy, even though it seems she doesn’t quite understand the logistics of how it all happened. (Look for 20 years of messed up storylines down the road for the child, as stated by Michael E. Knight (with a chuckle)).

It was sweet to see Tad explain how he was searching for his little girl for so many years. What was even sweeter was him telling Kathy that she was right all along, calling her “daddy” when they had first had an encounter. The look on Kathy’s face was of pure innocence and one can’t help but smile watching the scene between them. Tad and Kathy definitely share a father/daughter bond, and it helps that Michael E. Knight and Alexa G. are such pals off screen. Then again, Michael E. Knight is friendly towards everyone that you can’t help but love the guy.

What lies ahead for Tad and Kathy now that they’re reunited? No one knows, but it’ll be interesting to see how the dynamic changes in the Carey/Martin household. Will Krystal be a bit jealous now that Tad has to split his attention between two daughters, Jenny and Kathy?

One thing is for sure, having the Kathy revelation is a breath of fresh air for some, especially since it could show viewer a softer side of JR when it comes to his interaction with her.

A WTF? Moment for All My Children, June 2, 2008 Edition

So, Monday’s episode of All My Children found Tad Martin in a deep sleep that allowed him and ghostDixie to live out their lives had the idiots in cha- er, the powers that be at AMC not killed off Dixie by means of pancake in the winter of 2007. Tad and Dixie married, had Kate to raise, watched her grow and blossom, marry and give birth, and through it all Tad and Dixie had that wonderful sense of humor and obvious affection for each other that the fans always seemed to enjoy.

*sigh*

These wonderful scenes of one of the most popular couples on daytime television almost gives AMC a pass for this week, but, nope, they just couldn’t help themselves.

Tad was ready, willing and able, in his unconscious state, to give it all up to venture with Dixie into eternity. He actually had no qualms about it. Given the chance, I think he would have left a vapor trail getting the hell, as it were, out of Pine Valley. But just as Tad prepared to “go into the light” with Dixie, here comes Adam. Because, you know, Adam can’t let someone else have all of the spotlight, even someone with a tube down his throat. He’s going to save Tad’s life by whispering three little words into Tad’s ear.

No, not “I love you”, which, honestly, would have made for a much more interesting storyline, but “Kathy is Kate”.

And he does just this. At which point, Dixie realizes her time with Tad is up and she quickly disappears into the mist. Tad miraculously opens his eyes, in Pine Valley Hospital recovering from a gunshot wound that nearly killed him, back in the land of the living murmuring “Kate?” who is Kathy, who really is Kate…

WTF? Really? Haven’t we seen this before? Twice?

Please tell me the writers couldn’t dream up a better – or at least somewhat new and original – scenario for getting Tad and Kate together… please tell me they didn’t use the “give them their missing child and they’ll magically wake up from their very deep, very tired sleep” routine…

Nope… they did…

Didn’t this tactic already get used when Bianca was in her coma and Miranda was still Bess? Didn’t Adam do the right thing then, too, and hand the baby over to Erica, who so lovingly put her in a failing Bianca’s arms, imploring her to wake up because Miranda was alive and wake up she did (quite perkily and fresh-looking, I might add) murmuring Miranda’s name, much like Tad just did?

Except, he murmured “Kate?” instead of “Miranda?” but it was basically the exact same scene…

Oh, wait, didn’t Kendall come out of her coma (what is it with Kane women and comas anyway?) when implored by loved ones to fight for Spike and Ian? Including Bianca, who knows first hand how well this particular tactic actually works?

Are you kidding me? The writing staff at AMC couldn’t have come up with something we haven’t seen already? This is as original as they can get? Is it really that freakin’ hard?

How about, Tad wakes up and he’s very woozy and Adam taunts him, thinking he’s going to die any minute, that Kathy is Kate. Or, how about Adam’s got his back to Tad and is telling someone, in that delightfully condescending way that he has, that Kathy is Kate just as Tad comes out of the his coma and just happens overhears this revelation.

See? In a couple minutes, I came up with a couple new and different ways to accomplish this reveal. Not exactly brand spanking new, but something a little different…

Okay, so, they want to give us Tad and Dixie, for which I am grateful, but with this scenario they tossed off, Dixie didn’t even get a fantastic exit! They both hear Adam’s declaration, Dixie knows it’s over and *poof*, she’s gone, disappearing into the mist (instead of the light that Tad wanted to head into, but, hey, that’s really being nit-picky).

Kinda like when they killed Dixie initially… No fantastic exit, just a breakfast of peanut butter-banana pancakes (which, really, yuck). Why didn’t they put her in a coma so that one day, after Tad figured out that Kathy was Kate, he could go to her beside, put the little girl in Dixie’s arms and whisper “It’s Kate, Dixie. Kathy is your Kate.”

And, miracles! Dixie awakens…

Now wouldn’t that have been more original?

Finally, some balance on All My Children

I know I should bite my tongue now, but I’m just going to go ahead and say it. Finally, some balance on AMC! Yes, the last couple of days have been some of the best writing I’ve seen on All My Children. It all began with the preparation of Jesse and Angie’s wedding (or rather, the day before the wedding), all leading up the the life-altering events and the aftermath that I’m sure will be felt across the Pine Valley canvas.

The high point of it all had to have been Friday’s (May 23, 2008 ) episode confronts Robert Gardner (from here on, referred to as Uncle Papel). Actually, the confrontation began the day before, but the climax was on Friday’s episode which led to the infamous Friday cliffhanger (and really, a cliff-hanger… or should it really helicopter-hanger).

While the central event was Jesse and Angie’s wedding reception, all the events going on around it just fed to the balance of the episode. It was nice seeing the veterans in the fold, such as Opal, Joe & Ruth. Add to that, Greg Nelson, who really should be brought back full-time because the PV canvas could use a wonderful character and actor, Laurence Lau.

As many know by now, Julia Santos Keefer was a casualty of Uncle Papel’s craziness, because he walked Angie through the reception and fired his Transformer .9mm (thanks MB) point-blank, the bullet hitting Julia. Another shot was fired on his way out, grazing Greg on the arm. Julia was critically wounded and eventually died at PVH, because the gunshot fatally damaged her liver.

Meanwhile, on the rooftop, Frankie, Jesse, Jake and Tad follow Uncle Papel and Angie, in an effort to keep the lunatic from escaping.  During this melee, as Uncle Papel tries to make his daring mistake, he fires his gun (the one loaded with unlimited bullets) and Tad becomes his next casualty.  Jesse runs for the ‘copter, grabs onto the bar and wrestles Uncle Papel out of the ‘copter (because good ol’ Uncle Paps wasn’t wearing his seatbelt) and we see him go *thunk* on the roof. Of course, being the stubborn villain he is, Uncle Papel is still alive, without a broken bone. The ‘copter lands safely (with the skills of Jesse, who had no idea what he was doing) and almost kills the geezer but Frankie persuades him not to and urges his dad to let Uncle Papel rot in prison. Jesse agrees… Uncle Papel is hauled off.

Meanwhile, Tad is being tended to… it’s bad… it’s painful and it looks like Tad may die if he isn’t brought to PVH stat. Frankie and Jake airlift him to PVH and this leads us to yesterday’s episode, possibly one of the most balanced ones I’ve seen in a while.

Most of PV made their way to the hospital and waited until they heard any news on either Julia or Tad. Sadly, we all know Julia didn’t make it and Tad is in critical condition. Different feelings are expressed by different characters, most notably by Frankie and Jesse. Frankie regrets letting Uncle Papel into their lives . thinking Uncle Paps was a good guy and Jesse has a regret of coming back from the dead because it resulted in Julia’s death and Tad being shot.

It was nice to see the residents of Pine Valley gathered at PVH because of what happened. Everyone wore an anguished look on their face as they all hear Julia did not make it. Perhaps what made this a balanced show was the fact that even though the sextet of Kendall/Zach/Greenlee/Aidan/Annie/Ryan was touched upon, at least the current tragic event was weaved into what was going on. No matter where any character was, the news of Julia’s death and Tad being shot was injected into the scene. No one scene took precedence over another, which is probably what made the episode so well done.

Finally, some balance. It’s been a while and I hope this trend can continue. Ironic though, that Esenstein and Brown were responsible for the last few episodes, some of the best of AMC in a long while, considering everything between the crash storyline and what happened in the last few days has been sub-par.

Another WTF? Moment from All My Children

So on Tuesday’s episode, May 27, 2008, the action/adventure edition of All My Children is in full swing. Tad has been shot by his dear old Uncle Robert (nothing says “family” like a .9mm slug to the chest), Angie is in a spinning helicopter with Uncle Bob and Jesse makes a death-defying leap from the roof of the Seasons Hotel and Casino to one of the chopper’s landing skids in an effort to save his beloved Angie’s life. (hey, they just got remarried, I guess this is his way of saying he’s committed to making the marriage work this time)

On a related note, Julia Santos-Keefer is at Pine Valley Hospital with a mortal gunshot wound to the abdomen and will die today. But since that kind of makes me mad and sad at the same time, I will ignore it for today’s WTF? segment.

Let me preface this by saying that, as far soap opera action/adventure sequences go, this was quite well done. The helicopter, Jesse’s leap from the hotel roof to the chopper’s landing skid, the city scene below the spinning chopper, the action and the acting was all very, very good. And the episode as a whole, save for Greenlee laying a big ol’ wet one on Zach, was very well done, especially the aforementioned death of Julia Santos-Keefer… and the fact that Tad was really in pain from a bullet wound and going into shock, much how I imagine getting shot must really be like. Unfortunately, all it takes is one WTF? moment to throw the rest of the show off kilter…

And away we go…

Anyway… back the Seasons Hotel and Casino, which, I had no idea was so tall and could accommodate helicopters landing on the roof, but I digress. As the cliffhanger picked up on Tuesday, Jesse made the leap by his fingernails and clung to the chopper as Uncle Bob spun it in circles, obviously thinking this is the recommended method for chopper lift-offs from hotel roofs while your kidnapped bride co-pilot screams like a little girl (which, granted, I probably would do, too, after puking on Uncle Bob’s shoes, but, again, I digress). Jesse manages to haul himself up on the landing skid, yank open the door and pull crazy Uncle Bob from the chopper, sending him flying through the air with the greatest of ease until he lands with a “thud” on the hotel roof below. (This also allowed Darnell Williams to deliver the best one-liner of the day as Robert Gardner fell: “You shoulda used your seatbelt!”)

Meanwhile, back on the roof, Tad’s gunshot wound is quite grave and he’s lucky to have not one but two, count ‘em TWO, doctors right there with him and they rush to save his life. Dixie descends from the heavens right about now, imploring her beloved Tad to hang in there, not to die, that their daughter needs them, all the while staying well out of the floating way of Brother Jake and Frankie Hubbard.

Across this same roof, Uncle Pancake- er, Uncle Robert has awakened from his helicopter plunge-induced nap. At this point, it appears safe to say that the man has very bouncy internal organs since he has survived an approximately 75-100 foot fall from a spinning airborne helicopter onto the uneven, tar paper and HVAC unit-covered roof of a luxury hotel without so much as a scratch. And, yet, this is not the actual WTF moment…

No, my friends, this is merely the beginning…

As Uncle Robert regains what little senses he once had, he begins crawling towards his gun… Which has magically transformed from a .9mm Sig Sauer P229 (official FBI issue service weapon, so kudos on the research here) into a .357 Magnum revolver. (kudos revoked on the continuity here)

Uncle Robert’s pistol, a standard issue Sig Sauer, has morphed into Dirty Harry’s weapon of choice. So, he went from a capacity of 20+ rounds (which is approximately what he fired off on Friday without reloading, yet another delightful AMC WTF? moment) to a 6-shot revolver… I’m assuming this is his gun because there was no one else firing back at him during the so-called gunfight on Friday’s cliffhanger episode, which would make him the only armed person on the hotel roof.

So, um… WTF?

On Friday, Robert Gardner is an FBI agent with an FBI-issued .9 millimeter pistol. I know it’s a .9 millimeter because I saw it in his hand as he was firing off shots at anything that moved. And through the magic of WTF? he was also able to load much more ammunition into said semi-automatic pistol because he squeezed off way more shots than even the extended 15-round magazine a Sig Sauer P229 can hold. Then, on Tuesday, after a death defying plummet from a gyrating helicopter and it’s slice-and-dice spinning rotors to a roof top about 75-100 feet below, in which he failed to stick the landing, his gun became a 6-shot .357 Magnum revolver… Which, by the way, should have been empty of live rounds anyway, since he fired the .9mm before its magical transformation way more times than a .9mm is even capable of!

He did not appear to be injured, not even bleeding from the nose or mouth (what, he didn’t even bite his lip by accident upon impact?) just a little stunned. He fought with Frankie Hubbard for a few moments until all the excitement finally caught up with him and he got very tired, especially after Frankie delivered a perfect headbutt (which, I guess, is rather understandable, considering he’d had such a busy day), and he was finally apprehended by the PVPD, who had finally shown up on the scene… Late as usual…

So… apparently, Cambias is working on a Transformer .9mm Sig Sauer* to go along with the transporter they have nearly perfected to get people from one side of the planet to the other in a matter of minutes. I’m assuming that this new breed of weapon will also transform into a yellow Camaro and you can drive away in it when need be.

I guess this feature is still in the developmental stages, otherwise Uncle Robert would be on the highway to Darfur by now…

*Also comes with a full- jointed Shia LeBeouf action figure, Josh Duhamel figure sold separately…

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