An INCREDIBLE WTF? moment from All My Children, 11/25/08)

Okay, so… on Monday’s AMC, Annie jumped off the balcony at the apartment she and Ryan shared in happier days, when they were the perfect little family with daughter Emma. *snore* Now, I’m assuming it was a pretty long drop, since the sound of her scream as she plummeted to the ground was a little longer than “Heeeeey! And I’m down!”, it was more like a “Aiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”, similar to those missile sounds you used to make when you were playing war with those little green military men back in your childhood. Plus, I would imagine that a guy like Ryan, who is apparently independently wealthy and has the means to afford a penthouse apartment, would have one. So, I would guess she took a pretty good plummet of at least 8-10 stories.

Well, imagine my shock when Greenlee looked over the balcony and said, I kid you not: “She made it.”

Um, WTF? She MADE IT?!?! She threw herself off a balcony in a high-rise apartment and MADE IT?!?!?

REALLY?!?!?

WTF?!?!?!?!??!?!?

I am beyond speechless… Seriously… I can’t… Wow…

Just…. wow….

While I, and I am sure many other AMC viewers, watch in complete awe at the sheer idiocy of such an incredibly poorly written piece of drivel, Ryan tells Greenlee to stay put, he’s going to go get Annie.

Now, normally in this situation, Ryan would have had to get Annie with a sponge or something similar to wipe up the slimey spot she just left on the sidewalk because it’s not the fall that kills you but the sudden stop at the end, but he returns moments later, limping and holding his leg. Apparently, Annie found a getaway car and fled the scene, clipping Ryan in the process…

WHAT. THE. F*CK?!?!?

Wow, so, not only did Annie land lightly from her leap, but she almost hit Ryan with the car she DROVE. AWAY. IN!!!

Oh, now that’s believable.

She’s very flexible… and rubbery… She’s Gumby, dammit! (But she’s very bad at the whole killing Ryan thing, though, first by not shooting him with the gun she had pointed at his oh-so-broad chest, then by managing to only clip him with 2 tons of steel…)

The next we see Annie, she’s instantaneously arrived at Wildwind to have a Thanksgiving dinner in her twisted mind… So, at least the Cambias transporter is working well. Must be that new shipment of Dilithium Crystals…

It is here we see that Annie not only survived the fall and drove away in a car… SHE DOESN’T HAVE A SCRATCH ON HER!!! She has arrived at Wildwind and is planning some grand dinner. SHE. DOESN’T. HAVE. A. SCRATCH. ON. HER!

SHE’S NOT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT DISHEVELED!!!!

Oh, my GOD, how stupid is Charles Pratt?!?!? Are you kidding me?!?!?! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Seriously, I don’t think there is enough WTF’s and “?”s and “!”s to properly describe how absolutely ridiculous and ludicrous and completely outrageously stupid this is. This is television writing at it’s absolute WORST! This makes Hello, Larry look like Shakespeare!

Now, granted someone did say they saw two tiny scratches on her knuckle. But I don’t think that was from the fall, I think it was from setting the table… you know, chipped china and all…

Humorously, David arrives home from a day of playing God at Pine Valley Hospital and interrupts Annie’s twisted little daydream of a Thanksgiving where she and Ryan are happy, Greenlee is with Aidan and apologetic for ever thinking she wanted Ryan (oh, would that it were), and life is all rainbows and butterflies.

Um, this was the Thanksgiving fantasy episode we were promised? Are you kidding?

Annie got away from Wildwind and David by apparently knocking him the sh*t out, which was actually very funny, but what happened previously rendered this completely unimportant.

This was utterly ridiculous and made idiots out of every viewer who watched. Charles Pratt’s writing is not only horribly bad, it’s ridiculously unbelievable.

Pratt owes everyone who watched this preposterous plot a HUGE apology. Sadly, he can’t give us back our lost brain cells.

I mean, seriously…. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?

W.T.F?!?!?!?!?

Sorry that this one is so scattershot, but this was so absurd and ludicrous, I can’t adequately describe how WTF-ish it is…

P.S. Thanks to Phyl and Rhap for adding a couple lines to this rant. Gumby and the scratches… all theirs.

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5 Responses

  1. Beautiful!

  2. Hey, you stole my planned WTF?! from me 😦

    Oh well, I’ll have to think of a new one now.

    *kicks dirt*

    It’s all good though, you’re still my friend. 🙂

  3. Well, I figured since I’m the one who usually does the WTF? moments, that it would be okay to go ahead and do this one, too…

    And I had made mention of this WTF? moment yesterday on the board, so I thought you knew…

    Oh, well…

  4. “She made it.” Like she was walking a balance beam or jumping a 3 foot gap across rooftops.
    Look out ’cause she’s going after John Connor next.

  5. Annie is out to get John Connor? Does that make her the female Cromartie?

    And I don’t read the AMC sections of the board anymore for reasons…well you know why.

    No worries, I’m coming up with other ideas as I ice skate left handed people laps.

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